Vivizul

Yes people I have reached that point in life where its time to leave home and go for uni. I really hate to say this but im so disappointed with how I feel at this point in life. All my younger years, I always said “gawd! I can’t wait for uni. I just want to get out of this boring place.” But now that the time is approaching that feeling has abandoned me (Traitor!!). hehehe but seriously I don’t feel like that anymore. Now I’m just so scared of leaving that I’ve actually considered staying (yes that’s how afraid I am). Initially I was so afraid of telling anyone cause I was afraid they would just think I’ve lost it up there if I told them and wee themselves thinking I was joking. But thank god for my best friend who I confided in. well she feels the same way. Were both scared to death of leaving (although we didn’t know why). So we concluded that everyone must feel that way. Either that or were both dorks (which we are anyways init maya). We both sat at chills café and talked about it both saying we actually considered going to ubd, not having to leave home and go through the trouble of going through MOE interviews. 

But my boyfriend, my bestest friend in the whole wide world was blessed with a so much more bigger brain than my peanut sized one (although I shall never agree that he is smarter than I am) has simply put it into a clearer view for me when I finally told him about my worries..  Well he rightly concluded that we felt scared because we were going to a foreign country where everything is going to be different. It’s an entirely new place where we don’t know anyone. We’ll have to change drastically in order to fit. And that’s where the problem stems from. Firstly we don’t know anyone and although were extremely social people but we’ve all watched mean girls. It’s a totally different stratum out there. People aren’t like here, their not as laid back and stuff. What happens when we don’t fit in? Will we be loners the whole 4years there? Will we go insane from being isolated and friendless? And to add into that you are really all ALONE.. No mummy to fall back on. That’s just one of the problems he brought up. Secondly he says that money might be a problem since again your there all alone and living independently comes with its tweaks.  But he is so right.. Not knowing what were going to face, moving to a different place where not a single face except Daniel Radcliffe perhaps, is familiar unlike Brunei where everyone’s related to everyone,

UK is going to be one hell of a change! Although one of the main reasons he didn’t point out why I didn’t want to go is how will I live without him?… at this point I’m guessing most of you have wrongly concluded that I am an idiotic clingy bimbo. But no, you obviously don’t understand. I’ve been with him for 6 years and a half and most of my free time is spent with him. I see him whenever I possibly can. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, tea, Sundays, you name it. Even not seeing him for a day feels wrong (not an exaggeration) it honestly feels like something is missing from that day and it’s incomplete. We do everything together. My hobbies involves doing it with him like body surfing and stuff. Now if a day already kills me and starts a fight cause I’m being so moody can you begin to imagine how loco I’ll be in a year without him?!! God, I’ll go crazy and I’m not the cheating type so I’ll definitely be doomed and lonely for 4 years…!!  But I’ve concluded if so many before me could do it and says its fun then it must really be. I suppose I just have to be brave and do it and find a new hobby like knitting (laughs till stomach cramps) to make up for the Zulvivi times.. but damn if you introduce me to the idiot who came up with the idea of universities I will strangle him till he is blue. And yes I am assuming he is a “he” because only a male would make life so hard… sheshhh…males.. 

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 20th, 2007 at 5:23 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.