In this modern day, we women are obsessed with the idea of feminism and equality of the sexes. One begins to wonder from where our desperation to be equal to men stems from? Was it because our mother (who are often the most influential person in our lives) grew up during the peak of the rise of feminism, has subconsciously instilled the idea that women should be able to do what men do and whoever says otherwise should be shot? Or is it something that has been over portrayed by the media and has thus influenced us?
Upon intense pondering, I began to wonder how much equality the ‘fairer’ sex really wants. To understand my train of thoughts, one must grasp the meaning of equality. Equality of the sex means that the treatment towards both sexes is fair and free of discrimination. Simply put, whatever men can do, women should be allowed the same liberty and vise versa.
Little things in life have actually got me thinking that maybe we are sacrificing the little good things in life to achieve equality. Having a door slammed on my face reduced the feeling of feminism that was once precious to me. The excuse my male friend gave me for his lack of chivalry was “were equal, I’m sure you could’ve done it on your own. If a male could do it, so could a female”. Even though I reminded him that it wasn’t an equality issue but a courtesy issue to hold the door open for the next person, his words held a ring of truth.
If we really wanted equality of the sexes whereby, female could do everything males could, then why does every female feels a sense of loss whenever we have to pay for dinner dates or when we have to open the car doors on our own or when a male doesn’t stand up when a female enters a room anymore? The act of chivalry is slowly disappearing and this is partly due to the fact that women are obsessed with being equal to the male.
By demanding equality of the sexes, we females have unconsciously lost control of the strict rules and etiquettes women centuries ago had firmly established and lived by daily. Hence slowly males are starting to treat us as their male “buddies”. Now a man feels free to sit before a woman does, they feel free to scratch their privates and release gas without any shame. Have we involuntarily turned men from civilized gentleman, to less gentlemanly human beings by demanding equality?
Apart from the loss of chivalry, gentlemanly attitudes which we secretly wish we could have back, there is another downfall to equality of the sexes that is do we really want to do what men do and vise versa?
Do we not all secretly wish that we were housewives who have all the time in the world to take care of herself like going to the spa instead of being career orientated mummy’s who are too busy juggling time? Do we not all secretly hope that our husband, brother or father would do the manly duties which we now, as equals, have to share? Sending and picking up the kids from school throughout the day, carrying boxes from the garage and moving cupboards are a few examples.
While we do feel liberated and equal when the males pitch in to help with the work around the house like the washing and looking after the children at the end of a tiring day, one always feels slightly jealous and rueful when the children say they prefer daddy’s packed lunch to mummy’s for school. And it continually feels like the males are invading our spaces, our domain, when their cooked meals get more praises from visitors than ours ever did.
I do admit that there have been great achievements from demanding equality. The opening of employment to females is one of them. Through equality of the sexes there has also been a significant reduction of domestic violence against females because they are now treated with more respect, as equals.
But still I say as much as I love being able to do all the things males can do, as it lends me a feeling of independence, there are some things which we women have given up as stated above. Therefore, what I am suggesting is a life where woman are treated as equals to the extent that they are still treated with respect that every human being deserves and where chivalry should be a must! If this were implemented then we could still have our career opportunities intact and get our dinner dates paid as well! Am I being too greedy or is this the answer to everywoman’s dream?